#kurtbastian as kids

[gleetournaments]

You, my friend, are creating chaos AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT.

I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. Becky put the pairings together. I just gave her the space to conduct her experiments.

[cuntycassandra]

what's one of your favorite headcanons for your meerkat?

Okay so the lovely Meg sent me the exact same ask a while ago, and so I think I'm going to reserve my top favourite Sebastian headcanon for that post, just because it may be easier to find since it came from an account, and the headcanon I'm going to talk about is very special to me, and I'm super duper proud of it.

So for this ask instead, I've decided I'm going to list a few of my fave Sebastian hcs that I have! Some may be general, some are unique that I came up with, but either way I've realised that I tend to talk about my version of Sebastian a lot of discord, but not so much on here! So let's introduce you all to him.

Sebastian headcanons:

In my mind Sebastian is an only child, and a miracle child at that. For those who do not know, a miracle child is a surprise baby conceived and carried to term by a couple who were told having a baby would be borderline impossible. I think this hugely contributes as to why Sebastian is so spoiled, it's extremely hard not to melt over the son his parents never expected to have, and considering they have the funds to do so, they do exactly that.

(Have this from an edit video I made about Sebastian to fully explain what I mean 🙂)

In my mind Sebastian is an only child, and a miracle child at that. For those who do not know, a miracle child is a surprise baby conceived and carried to term by a couple who were told having a baby would be borderline impossible. I think this hugely contributes as to why Sebastian is so spoiled, it’s extremely hard not to melt over the son his parents never expected to have, and considering they have the funds to do so, they do exactly that.

(Oh I dubbed his parents Nathaniel Smythe, and Gabrielle (née Alarie) Smythe. We know his father’s canon job is a states attorney (and according to me, formally an international lawyer flitting between the Columbus and Parisian firm, where he specialised in finance) and I’ve always thought his mother to be a surgeon.)

I think Sebastian gets a lot of his mannerisms from his mother, his cold shoulder, his snark, his passive aggressiveness, it all comes from her. And always has. (They both find it comical when Sebastian is an adult, but as a child/teenager, they could argue about anything due to clash of personalities.)

His parents appreciate his talent in the arts, and made sure he explored all aspects of the craft at a young age. He took multiple styles of dance, had singing lessons weekly, and was even forced into learning an instrument (the violin) from a young age (the last of which he wasn’t very fond of.)

Growing up in Paris, while having family in the states, Sebastian struggled a lot with his childhood bilingualism. As a child he was merely upset by the prospect that he couldn’t hold a conversation with people in his family and their dislike for his bad communication skills, but as a preteen he would instead obsess over every little pronunciation when speaking in English, just to make sure it was absolutely perfect and he wouldn’t have to feel so degraded for something so basic. (I have an unpublished fic about this if anybody would like to read it.)

Equally, music and dance helped Sebastian a lot with his bilingual struggles, which is another reason he is so passionate about the hobby. It helped shape him in so many different way.

Sebastian’s favourite childhood TV show was Disneys ‘the house of mouse’, and he would always, without fail sing along, to the theme song.

When Smythe’s moved back to America indefinitely, Nate bought Seb a car because Seb was really upset and he wanted to make his son’s sadness disappear :( (Gabi’s like “girl what- 🤔🫣”

They 👏 love 👏 Kurt

Gabrielle warms up to Kurt a lot quicker than Nate does because he’s a protective father who doesn’t want Sebastian to get hurt (because he knows deep down Seb is a good person), whereas Jeff and Nick are like “what’re you talking about? Mr Smythe is lovely” to Kurt, who is petrified of.

Kurt has a clothing line named after Sebastian called ‘Simply Sebastian’ and yes that’s a nod to my old username. His little logo is an embroidered meerkat.

If anyone steals my headcanons I’m going to personally put baked beans in your shoes

[69-toojay]

Finally graduated high school and now glee's making me nostalgic for theatre club and the overly dramatic, highly entertaining and stressful phenomena that is teen gay rivalry

[albert-kafka-camus]

@simplysebastian

Gleeful Paintbox Project: Change ↳ A Change in the Weather by cacophonylights as a novel

[cryscendo]

Kurtbastian + a kiss to prove you don’t have feelings for them 👀

(except we all know it's a lie there's totally feelings there)

i saw this prompt and my mind starting thinking about the potential of dalton era kurtbastian……. i MAY have gotten a little carried away with it, but i hope you love it <3

Pairing: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe (+ platonic Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson)

Word Count: 1599

Rating: T

if you would like to send me a prompt, check out the prompt list here!

fic can be read under the cut <3

“God, he’s the worst, isn’t he?” Kurt muttered in mild irritation. He and Blaine were sitting in one of Dalton’s many study rooms, going over their… English homework? Or was it History? Well, considering they were discussing The Grapes of Wrath, he supposed it could be either. But it didn’t matter, because he could hardly focus on the assignment in front of him anyway.

“Oh, c’mon Kurt, he’s not that bad,” Blaine argued and it was in one of those moments that Kurt greatly questioned his friend’s sanity.

“Are you kidding? We’re talking about the same guy here, right?”

Blaine laughed, nodding. “Yes, we’re both talking about Sebastian,” he replied and even the guy’s name alone put Kurt on edge. Kurt’s transfer to Dalton had been generally pretty breezy. For the most part, the guys here were kind and accepting. Apparently Dalton Academy was serious about their ‘zero tolerance policy’.

But then there was Sebastian, who stood to be an outlier in terms of Kurt maintaining his peace. He was insufferable, to say the least. And it’s made so much worse given that he has chosen to target Kurt specifically. Kurt wasn’t sure if it was because he was the new kid or what, but Sebastian seemed to go out of his way to irritate Kurt. It wasn’t like he felt threatened by Sebastian, — this was hardly a Dave Karofsky situation — but he could most definitely attest that Sebastian was a consistent annoyance.

“I just don’t get how you can tolerate him,” Kurt went on, and Blaine rested his chin in his hand, listening patiently to Kurt’s rant with an amused grin. “Ever since I transferred here, he’s been antagonizing me. Like doesn’t he have anything better to do than exist like a gnat in my ear?”

Kurt could see it clear as day in Blaine’s poorly suppressed grin; he had something that he clearly wanted to say, but just wasn’t. Well, Kurt wasn’t really all too fond of being out of the loop, so to speak.

Kurt gave Blaine a look of suspicion. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Blaine replied, attempting to disguise his expression by taking a sip of his coffee.

Kurt wasn’t buying it, though. “No, what’s so funny? Is there some joke I’m not in on?”

Blaine paused for a moment, contemplating speaking up again. Finally, though, he sets his coffee cup back down on the table and holds his hands out in front of himself defensively. As if Kurt is some kind of threat. “Okay, if I say this, you can’t bite my head off about it. That fair?”

Well, Kurt didn’t exactly love the implications of that. But he liked being in the dark about things even less, so with some reservations, he released a sigh and shrugged. “Fine. What’s such a big deal that you don’t wanna say it? I promise I’ll be nice.”

“Well, I just noticed that any time you like a guy, you start talking about him a lot. I mean, that’s how you were with that Sam guy from your old school.” Kurt felt heat rise to his cheeks at Blaine’s accusation. He wanted to protest because he didn’t really think he had talked about Sam that much, but he decided to keep his mouth shut as Blaine continued. “And, y’know, you do talk about Sebastian an awful lot so could it be possible that you maybe have a bit of a… crush on him?”

That… truly stunned Kurt. What was Blaine thinking? Sure, he talked about Sebastian a lot but it wasn’t like that. His friend has really, truly gone off the deep end. “Are you serious?”

“Hey, I’m just thinking aloud here! I could be completely wrong, I get that. But you have to admit that he does stay on your mind a lot.”

“I can’t believe you would even suggest something like that,” Kurt responded in disbelief. “I have not, nor would I ever, have a crush on him.”

“A crush oh who, Kurt?” A voice that Kurt is unfortunately painfully familiar with cut in. Kurt and Blaine both turned towards the doorway to find Sebastian standing there, snarky expression and all. Then, with complete and utter audacity, he came in and sat down in one of the empty seats at Kurt and Blaine’s table.

“Nobody,” Kurt said immediately. He really did not need Sebastian to be here right now. Of all the examples of the worst possible timing, this has got to be a top contender in the ranking. “Nobody worth mentioning, anyway.”

“Oh c’mon, Hummel, I don’t believe that. Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Don’t you have a line of grown men on Facebook offering to be your sugar daddy for the low, low price of one sad handjob a week and no less than five weekly texts offering them ‘the boyfriend experience’? You must be far too busy to be spending your time here with us.”

“Ah, unfortunately, they couldn’t meet my rates,” Sebastian countered Kurt’s insult easily, letting the words roll off him without care. “But hey, no worries, I gave them your information. I know you could use the money. DaddyDom69 seemed particularly interested.”

“What are you doing here, Sebastian?” Kurt questioned, unimpressed.

“Well, I was here to visit with my old pal, Blaine, but then I heard that the great Kurt Hummel has a crush and realized I had to get more details on that! So, who is he?”

It was then that Kurt looked over at Blaine, shooting him a look that was a mixture of apprehension and frustration. Because this was Blaine’s fault. This entire discussion wouldn’t be happening if Blaine hadn’t insinuated that Kurt had a crush.

Apparently, the look that they shared was enough to tip Sebastian off. Either that, or he’s just such a narcissist that he believed that everything revolved around him. Regardless, he lets out a mocking gasp, bringing his hand to his chest as if pretending to be shocked. “Oh my, is it me? Kurt, I’m flattered, you could’ve just said that!”

“Never, not even in your wildest dreams, would I ever have a crush on you. Trust and believe.” Kurt spoke in such a way that he hoped left no room for argument. However, it seems like with Sebastian, there’s always room for argument.

“Yeah? Then prove it,” Sebastian challenged.

“How would I even do that?”

Sebastian’s smirk turned conspiratorial. “Kiss me. If it’s not a crush then nothing would happen, right?”

Immediately, Kurt could sense Blaine’s tension beside him. Blaine knew about Kurt’s history of being kissed in ways that nobody else did. It was sweet that he cared so much, but this was pretty much his fault to begin with.

“You must be joking,” Kurt said after some time.

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

Well he looked like a joke, that’s for sure. But that also wasn’t the question. And sure, he could end this. He could just say that he’s done entertaining this, but wouldn’t that be just the same as admitting guilt?

“Sure, fine, let’s do it.”

“Uh, Kurt,” Blaine began to cut in, “you don’t have to do that. Don’t feel pressured.”

“I don’t.” Well, he does a little bit. But he’s not going to say that. “Like Sebastian said, if it’s not a crush, it’s not like anything would happen anyway.” He scooted his chair closer to Sebastian and briefly caught a glimpse of a guilty looking Blaine out of the corner of his eye. Blaine didn’t need to feel guilty, at the end of the day, this was Kurt’s choice. “So… let’s do it.”

Sebastian readjusted in his chair. “I’m ready when you are, Hummel.”

So the ball was in his court. That’s fine. He could do this. It’s just Sebastian. No big deal. He’s never willingly kissed another man before, but it was fine.

Kurt leaned in, and before he could possibly talk himself out of it, he pressed his mouth to Sebastian’s. He didn’t know what he was doing really, but Sebastian didn’t seem to complain. In fact, he all but leaned into the kiss, carding a hand through Kurt’s hair in an act of unusual tenderness from the boy. It lingered for a bit longer than anticipated and—

Oh shit.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Kurt pulled away from Sebastian, trying not to come off as alarmed. He stood abruptly, and had two pairs of eyes locked on him. Wide, concerned ones from Blaine, and inquisitive, searching ones from Sebastian. God, Kurt hoped he didn’t find whatever he was looking for.

He knew his face must be hot from nerves. That, and the fact that he just found the kiss with Sebastian to be… pleasant? That was not supposed to happen.

Kurt cleared his throat anxiously. “See. Nothing. Just like I said.” He haphazardly picked up his belongings as he continued. “Well, I’d hate to leave so soon, but it’s getting late and my dad’s going to be expecting me for dinner. Bye.”

And with that, he rushed out of the room, not willing to be under the scrutiny of his best friend and his rival any longer.

It wasn’t until later that night when he received a few texts. One of them made his heart skip a beat. The one from Blaine was expected. It was an apology and it read Kurt, I am so sorry that happened. I shouldn’t have said anything, please don’t be mad at me.

But the other text; that one, Kurt could never have anticipated.

From Sebastian: Hey, Kurt. You wouldn’t happen to be doing anything this weekend, are you?

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian one-shot "Data Dump" (Rated T)

Summary:

Sebastian was raised to throw money at his problems. But Kurt wants more effort than that from his boyfriend. Sebastian finds a way to solve this problem in an unlikely place - TikTok.

Notes:

I started writing this back in 2021, which is when the TikTok trend mentioned was happening. Then I disappeared for four years XD But I love this and have always wanted to finish it. (3,464 words)

Read on AO3.

Kurt's phone buzzes in his pocket, but he ignores it.

Vehemently ignores it.

He doesn't need to check it.

He knows who it is.

He knows what the messages, piling up like the snow outside on the sidewalk, say.

Sebastian has been blowing up his phone for the past half hour, which is obnoxious as hell since they are sitting roughly thirty feet apart with only a door between them.

Kurt's phone buzzes again. And again. And again. He considers silencing it. Admittedly, turning it off would be better. But he's working from home today, so he needs to be available in case Isabelle wants to get a hold of him. Sebastian knows this. It's a loophole that he is exploiting.

Because Sebastian loves loopholes.

Of course, it's 3:17, and Isabelle leaves the office around four. Maybe Kurt could get away with it. As long as no fashion lines drop unexpectedly, or there aren't any "What color is this dress?" controversies brewing.

The bedroom door flies open, and Sebastian's head pops out.

“Kurt! Dammit! Look at your phone!”

“We're in the same apartment! If you want to talk, come out here and talk!”

"No! I need you to look at your phone!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm trying to apologize!"

"Then come out here and apologize!"

"But...but..." Sebastian sputters, "That'll negate the apology I sent you! And I put effort into it! Remember effort? The thing you say I don't give enough of because I solve everything with my wallet?"

Kurt's burgeoning tirade stops short, leaving him mouth agape. He does say that. Quite a lot, actually, where their relationship is concerned. But that's because, for the past few years, it's been true. Sebastian forgets an anniversary? A blue box from Tiffany's shows up on Kurt's desk. They get into a fight, and Sebastian says something heinous? A new McQueen scarf gets added to Kurt's collection. Sebastian discovers at the last minute that he has a dinner meeting scheduled for the one night Kurt's friends are coming to town for drinks? A new pair of Jimmy Choos magically appears on the passenger seat of Kurt's SUV. And whereas Kurt isn't opposed to material displays of affection, the one thing all these lack is Sebastian himself.

"Fair," Kurt admits. "But why do I need to look at my phone?"

"It's sort of a multi-media event."

"Multi-media event?" Kurt rolls his eyes. God, Sebastian can be so precious sometimes. And not in a good way. "Fine. I'll look," he promises. But he doesn't. Not right away.

And Sebastian glares at him.

"Now, Kurt. Now. Look at your phone right now."

Kurt huffs, followed by another dramatic "Fine!" He grabs his phone, throttling it like it owes him money. He unlocks it as slowly as humanly possible. Sebastian, watching from the doorway, begins to tap his toe against the floor. Then he drums his finger on the door jamb. And when Kurt still hasn't reached his messaging app, he knocks his forehead against the wall.

"Kuuurrrttt!"

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there!"

"Urgh!" Sebastian gives up his surveilling and retreats back into the bedroom.

Kurt opens his messaging app and groans. "127 missed messages? Are you kidding me right now?"

"No, I'm not!" Sebastian bellows, and Kurt can't help snickering. Sebastian might be annoying, but never let it be said that the man is unamusing. Kurt clears his throat and scrolls down to missing message number one. He opens it and reads it out loud.

-You say I don't open up to you.

-That in the seven years we've been together, you know me less now than you did in high school.

-I don't know how that's possible, but I'm not going to debate that with you.

-Instead, I'm going to admit that you might be right.

-But I have my reasons for not opening up.

-It's not because I don't trust you.

-It's because I have more baggage than your Louis Vuitton weekender set, and I didn't want to burden you with it.

Kurt pauses, rereading that last message a few more times. A twinge of guilt tightens his shoulders and ratchets straight up through his neck. He knows that Sebastian has baggage.

Kurt has met his family.

They have so many expectations that Kurt is surprised Sebastian's head didn't explode sometime before high school. Sebastian graduated from Dalton with honors and a perfect 5.0 GPA. He was accepted to all the Ivy Leagues as well as a few prestigious international schools. He worked at an internship right out of high school, and it wasn't for anyone his family had direct connections to. But as much as the Smythes treat Sebastian like an investment they are making grand returns off of, nothing he does is ever good enough.

Surprisingly, they don't have any problem with their commodity being gay. Sebastian's family loves Kurt. Either that, or they are all tremendous actors. But in genuine extended family fashion, they keep asking when the two of them are going to buckle down, get married, and find an equally well-connected surrogate to give them some grandkids.

After witnessing all that, Kurt has to admit it would be difficult to be a branch growing on the Smythe family tree and not want to yeet yourself into a wood chipper.

-I wanted a clean slate. Put my privileged past behind me.

-Ugh. Poor little rich kid, I know.

-I made myself nauseous just then.

-My childhood was fucked up.

-I'm not the best conversationalist.

-When things get too serious, I default to crude jokes and petty insults.

-I know I can't do that anymore.

-I can't hide things from you.

-And I have been. Our entire relationship.

-I've tried to brush it off by saying it's because I had a dysfunctional childhood.

-You counter back with, "Everyone did."

-And you're right.

-But you don't understand.

-When you grow up with the kind of wealth my family has, concepts like dysfunctional take on a whole different meaning.

-You say I never break it down for you, try to help you understand.

-But it's not that easy.

-And I'm so used to using humor as a cover, any explanation I can give you comes out as sarcasm and vitriol.

-You think I'm making fun of you. Which I'm not trying to do.

-Not anymore.

-So, to prove that I want to move forward with you, I'm doing a complete 180 and putting it all out there, tearing off the BandAid in the most irrelevant way possible.

-I jumped on a TikTok trend.

“You have a TikTok account,” Kurt mumbles.

The phone buzzes in his hand. A new message pops up.

-Yes, I have a TikTok account.

Kurt seethes. The bastard won’t come out and talk to him, man to man, but he’ll listen to Kurt through their security cameras and then text him? How asinine is that!?

Kurt is tempted to turn off his phone, work be damned, and set it aside, but he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. He made a promise to hear Sebastian out.

He's not going to break it because his boyfriend is acting like a goober.

He gets another message. This time, it's a link.

-Please take a moment to go to the account I made and watch as I expose myself.

-And before you ask, yes, I kept my clothes on.

-I reserve nude confessions for my OnlyFans.

-Love, Sebastian

"You have an OnlyFans?" Kurt says louder, knowing the walls have ears.

-Would you subscribe if I did?

"No."

-Prude.

"Man whore." Kurt brings up the apps on his phone and searches for TikTok.

Nope.

No TikTok.

He vaguely remembers uninstalling it the minute he got his phone.

Even as an uber-popular social media platform among designer types, he figured he would never use it.

Welp.

Now he has to download it and make an account.

After entering his info, selecting the categories he's interested in, and answering no to linking his contacts, he clicks the link Sebastian sent him and goes to his account. Sebastian's account is public, but the post in question is unavailable. Kurt friends him, and Sebastian friends him right back.

Kurt shakes his head at how adolescent this all is. But he's intrigued.

And he doesn't hate it.

Sebastian gets a 10 out of 10 for originality.

He clicks on the post, one of two available, but the person who appears on the screen isn't Sebastian.

The post is a stitch with another creator. The face of a young woman fills the screen. She's wearing no-makeup makeup and the most trying-not-to-look-expensive-but-still-expensive Versace tee Kurt has ever seen. A tag in the caption says #richtok. She smiles at her camera and says, "What's the most insane actual rich person behavior you've ever experienced? I'll go first..."

The woman disappears, and Sebastian's face fills the screen, way too close to the camera. When he takes a step back to better fill the frame, Kurt sees that he is also dressed in a super expensive tee.

Kurt snorts.

"I'm cheating on this one because they're all about me," Sebastian says. "Strap in because it's a long one." He clears his throat and inhales deep as if he's about to say a lot in a single breath. Then he fires away. "My parents hosted my first sleepover when I was in the third grade. Every friend that came brought their own butler or valet and, in some cases, a chef who also spent the night. This one kid, Trevor, had his chef making gluten-free cupcakes at three in the morning. My house is so big that another one of my friends got lost on the way to the downstairs bathroom, and we didn't find him for a week. No joke."

"Oh...my God..." Kurt mutters. When he had asked Sebastian for full disclosure about his upbringing, wanting more insight into why his boyfriend is the way he is, Kurt thought he'd hear more about his parents' unreasonable expectations, some first kiss awkwardness, self-doubt during his scrawny middle school phase (Kurt has seen pictures), or maybe some bullying about his hair. He definitely did not expect this. "That's not...that can't be real..."

"And why, you may ask?" video Sebastian continues. "Because we have catacombs on the property. That's right. Down in the wine cellar, past the casques, we have honest-to-God catacombs. It's not exactly legal, so I can't tell you where they are. Sorry, not sorry."

Kurt's eyes pop.

Kurt could tell them. He's been there.

In Sebastian's childhood home.

Kurt has even been to the wine cellar with Sebastian to get a bottle of merlot.

They had sex down there.

Oh God...

"Here's a picture of them, though. That boy in the middle? That's me. The skeleton to my right? Uncle Avery. My parents paid for my friend's therapy for over a decade, out of pocket and in cash, so no one would make the connection. Because imagine the headline on that one: Senator's son traumatized by time spent lost in attorney's illegal catacombs." Sebastian barks a laugh, but it dies quickly. "Moving on."

"There's...there's more?" Kurt asks, astonished. He expects Sebastian to answer from the bedroom, but he guesses Sebastian is letting the video do all the explaining for the time being.

"My dad is an attorney. He used to be a state attorney until he discovered that the real money was in defending other filthy rich people. Rich people who were worse morally than my parents. And because of it, for the longest time, my dad, my mom, and I were in danger for our lives. When I got my learner's permit, he bought me a Lambo." Sebastian leans toward the screen and cackles. "I learned how to drive in a Lambo. Talk about pretentious as fuck! Then, my dad bought two identical Lambos and hired drivers to drive them. They'd follow me around anytime I went out so that no one ever knew which car I was in. So I only had a one in three chance of ending up dead whenever I went for a drive. Well, higher when you consider I was a lousy driver."

"What the...?" Kurt shoots a look at the bedroom door, contemplating storming in and confronting Sebastian about why? Why did his parents do these things? And how did his father get away with all of this? But that's the point Sebastian is trying to make.

His dad is rich—unfathomably rich. Sebastian was raised among the unfathomably rich, and they threw money at any problem that arose.

That's where Sebastian learned it from.

"My dad took us to Milan for the weekend because he wanted authentic Italian food and felt our chef wasn't cutting it. But that's not all. He dragged the poor man to Italy so he could watch us eat 'authentic Italian' to prove the point that the man was slacking. Plot twist, Our chef WAS Italian. Tenth generation. No lie. His grandfather founded two of the most famous cooking schools in Europe. Our chef's whole family has worked for my family since forever, except for one cousin who works for the mob."

"Oh my God!" Kurt shrieks. It's unintentional, but he can't help it! He feels like he's watching an episode of The True Housewives of Westerville, except every character is Sebastian's dad. How can one person be so horrific? Kurt has suffered humiliating things in his life, but he can't put himself in that chef's shoes at all.

Sebastian's father did all of that to make a point? And how much did that cost? Kurt has had his share of revenge fantasies, but he can't picture spending a small fortune solely to make someone feel like shit.

But incredibly, Sebastian isn't done, and Kurt starts to wonder: Where does it end?

How awful can one man be?

"One of the reasons my family is so rich? My father’s side hustle is gentrifying neighborhoods. Loads of them. In nearly every city in the country."

Ah. That awful, apparently.

"In wealthy circles, I am considered a catch. Not because of who I am, mind you. No one is clamoring to date me because of my sparkling personality. But because of my family's net worth. Seven celebrities have offered to buy my sperm. I was thirteen at the time, and my dad almost said yes. By the way, that's not as uncommon as you would think. If you're a kid from a super wealthy family, your parents have probably been approached once or twice for your eggs or sperm."

If Kurt's eyes were bugging out before, that confession almost jettisons them from his skull.

"No one ever showed me true affection, so all I know how to do is throw money at things. And that's going to be important in a moment. Follow for part two."

The screen freezes, and so does Kurt. He sits on the sofa, frozen in place, staring into his boyfriend's unmoving face, stunned into silence.

"I...what...what did I just watch?"

Kurt's phone vibrates, and a message notification pops up. He clicks on it.

-It's not over yet. Have you watched part 2?

Kurt frowns. Why is Sebastian asking? "You know I haven't. You've been watching me this whole time!"

-I know. It just seemed rude to assume.

"You're going to have to give me a moment to digest what I just saw."

-You're right. You're absolutely right.

-You have two minutes.

-Digest.

"Catacombs, Sebastian? Catacombs!?"

-Yeah. Weird. Go to part 2.

"I've slept in that house, Seb! We had sex in that wine cellar!"

-Yup. We have trauma in common. We'll bond over that later. Go to part 2.

"And selling your sperm? I mean, I knew your parents were messed up, but I didn't realize they were underage paternity fraud messed up!"

-I tried to tell you. Go to part 2. Now. Right now.

"But...you just told the whole world about your dad's shady deals! If he ever sees this, he's going to disown you! And if what you said is true, hire someone to bury you under the house!"

-Yeah, well, I wouldn't be the first. Ba-dum-bum.

"Sebastian!"

-Relax, babe. That's why this video is set to 'friends only'. And you're my only friend, so...go to part 2.

"You mean - you did all this, signed up for a TikTok account, and recorded this video - for an audience of one?"

Kurt hears a frustrated sigh, and the bedroom door opens.

"Yes! Effort, remember? I fucking love you! You're special to me! Now go to part 2! Now!"

"Alright, alright!" Kurt fires back. "Fine! I fucking love you, too!"

"Fantastic!" The bedroom door slams shut, and Kurt returns to Sebastian's account. He finds the second part of the video and presses play. It starts with the same young woman saying her spiel and then splits off to Sebastian.

"Part 2! Now, this is the ring I bought for my boyfriend. I've been holding on to it for a while now." Sebastian holds a blue box up to the camera.

Tiffany's.

Of course.

He opens it, turning the platinum band set with sapphires and diamonds to face the camera. Kurt's heart sinks. It's the most gorgeous thing he's ever laid his eyes on.

But there's his apology, right?

"I haven't given it to him yet because a lot of my apologies come in blue boxes, and I didn't want the love of my life to think this was another attempt to buy his forgiveness." Sebastian looks at the ring in the box and sighs. No-he deflates. Because he was thinking the same thing Kurt was. He is becoming self-aware.

And that gives Kurt hope.

"What I'm hoping it will do is show him that I do listen. I'm hoping it will prove the lengths I am willing to go to make sure he wears something on his finger that he will love. Because when someone gives you an engagement ring..."

Kurt's mouth drops open. "En...engagement...ring?"

"...it should be the kind of thing you never want to take off. This one has everything he loves: platinum band and equally matched sapphires and diamonds. Plus, it was designed by Jay Z for Tiffany's. It's one of a kind." Sebastian inches close to the camera and stage whispers, "It costs three and a half million dollars."

Kurt stares at the ring, wide-eyed and speechless.

"Now, don't get me wrong," Sebastian says. "I didn't get it for him to force his hand. Money is a part of my life. It always has been and always will be. And I love to spend money on my boyfriend. But if he wants me to return this ring and get something less showy, I'm all for that. It's meant for him. I'll get him a Ring Pop if that's what he wants. I just want him to be my husband. And I'm not proposing to force his hand either. I swear, I'm not. If he's not ready for this step, I'm okay to wait. I'm okay with us being boyfriends for the rest of our lives. And I promise, from this day forward, no more secrets, Kurt. No more blowing you off when things get uncomfortable. And no more throwing money at problems instead of talking them out. I am sorry. I am so sorry I didn't give you the one thing you have been asking for for so long. And that's me. All of me. My truth, my feelings, my effort. From the depths of my soul and the bottom of my heart, I apologize. So...will you? Will you marry me?"

That last part Kurt hears behind his ear accompanied by a warm breath that makes him shiver. Sebastian reaches over Kurt's shoulder and presents him with the open box, ring exposed. Sebastian's other arm wraps around Kurt's shoulders from behind and holds him close. "So...did I do good? With the whole talking about my issues thing? Opening up?"

"Yes?" Kurt half-asks, dumbstruck, as Sebastian slides into the seat beside him on the couch and pulls Kurt into his lap. This is...so much. So much to unpack and so much to absorb. It is safe to say that Kurt didn't know any of that. He couldn't have guessed it if he'd tried. But in the end, the most important thing he got from that was Sebastian- his effort, a sincere apology, a promise to change.

And a want to go forward.

Together.

"But I am going to recommend therapy."

"Do you think we could make it couples therapy? I hear that's an important step for two tortured drama queens planning on getting married."

Kurt looks at Sebastian, eyes shimmering as his obnoxious boyfriend - no, fiance - slips the incredible ring on his finger. "I do."

[daisyishedwig]

Holy shit, am I writing again? Perhaps for a bit. Anyways, who wants some kid Kurtbastian from my Love Stage rewrite?

“You,” the Director said, zeroing on Kurt, kicking his legs in his aunt’s makeup chair, “can you act?”

Kurt blinked at him, “I do plays for my mom,” he said hesitantly.

“And I thought it was the little girl you were looking to replace, not the boy,” Kurt’s mother said, resting a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. 

“He’s already got makeup on, throw a wig on his head, he pass for a little girl easy. Face like that…” he’d trailed off and Kurt’s mom had frowned, but Kurt did not understand what he meant. He would later, as insults about his feminine features and high voice abounded, but at the time he hadn’t know he’d just experienced his first microagression. 

Once he was in the dress and standing in front of the cameras he’d felt his first taste of stage fright. There were so many people than his usual audience of his parents and his stuffed animals, and the lights were so bright. His eyes flitted around the set, wide and scared, his whole boy trembling. 

His mother, now in the group of adults “attending the wedding”, stepped forward and he knew she would stop this and take him back to the safety of the dressing room if he asked. But then another young boy stepped in front of him. He was taller than Kurt, limbs almost too long for his body, like they were growing faster than the rest of him.

“Hi,” he said, smiling warmly, “is this your first time on a set?” 

Kurt nodded shakily.

“Bit scary, isn’t it? But that’s okay, I’ve done lots of acting, so I’ll be here for you.” The boy shoved his hand in his pocket and dug something out. “Do you want to see what I use when I’m scared?” He held out his hand to Kurt and he peered down at a marble in his hand, green and brown with a little swirl of blue and golden flakes flecked through it. 

“It’s my lucky charm,” he whispered, “kinda looks like your eyes, doesn’t it?” Kurt smiled softly and took the marble from him to inspect it closer. “Would you like to use it today?”

Kurt looked up at him in surprise. “But what will you use?”

He grinned and grabbed Kurt’s free hand, squeezing it tight. “I’ll use you.”

I'll tag @kurtsascot, @backslashdelta, @fallevs, @lusthurts, @annepi-blog, @bitbybitwrites, @calsvoid, @cryscendo, and @wowbright

[spicy-cannoli]

My dumb ass with my unfinished kurtbastian fic from when I was a kid is being TEMPTED to post it, even though, it’s BAD and UNFINISHED

[digopheliadug]

from @impalerswift

do it yourself if you want, I’m not the boss of you.

Interesting because I haven’t written much and don’t really consider myself a writer, but it was fun to do.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

9. This is the same as @impalerswift! One of them’s a playlist, though.

2. What's your total word count?

63,832

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Glee, Check, Please!, and Ted Lasso. In my pre-ao3 days, I also wrote Harry Potter (cringe) and Buffyverse

4. Top five fics by Kudos:

Camarades de Classe

Look Like a Freshman

Fallen Angel in a Gay Bar

it’s hard to make a conversation when he’s taking my breath away

How I Stopped Worrying and Decided to Date Sebastian Smythe

5. Do you respond to comments?

Pretty much no. I’m bad at making meaningful comments on other people’s fics and on other people’s comments 😓

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

My fics do not end angsty. Fallen Angel is unfinished and has an angsty middle, though. My Kent Parson playlist also definitely has a narrative to it and ends kind of bittersweet.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They pretty much all end happy. Maybe “it’s hard to make a conversation.”

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No lol no one cares

9. Do you write smut?

Yes

10. Craziest Crossover?

Not on ao3, but I wrote an HP/BTVS crossover as a kid. I think that’s the only one I’ve ever written.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No but I’ve had some great betas who’ve contributed a lot. Shout out to @bononoh!

13. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

See above re: no, no one cares

14. All-time favorite ship?

How could anyone answer that question, it’s so hard!? I guess probably spuffy? In terms of writing, Kurtbastian is a really fun one.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Fallen Angel in a Gay Bar; I have it outlined and everything, but I put it down and was never really able to pick it back up.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d say dialogue, especially between snarky characters. I think I’m alright at plot, too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably character exploration and development, which is wild because that’s pretty much my favorite thing to read. I guess I admire people who can do it.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

There’s a ton in Camarades de Classe and I’m a little embarrassed about it. It is in the context of students, though, so if they fucked it up that’s on them. 😂 I think that one has a tiny bit of Spanish in that one, too, and this from before I started studying it so… pray for me.

19. First fandom you ever wrote in?

I think it was probably Buffy? It may have been HP.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

It’s gotta be Camarades de Classe, because I have successfully reread it and not wanted to die.

[too--true]

I wrote this as the opening for a Kurtbastian fanfic I'm not sure I'll continue, so here, have this little origin oneshot thingy:

Sebastian Smythe had a friend.

Once.

When he was 12 years old and the kid in his Science class that didn’t speak a word of English was assigned as his lab partner. They couldn’t actually talk, so they just worked around each other for the first few lessons in comfortable silence. That is, until Sebastian realised this boy, Teke, had never written a single word in his book. None of the work he was doing was being written about, even though they were supposed to have their hypothesis’ and methods explained for every experiment. It made him feel a bit bad for Teke.

The next lesson, Sebastian took Teke’s book and wrote down everything he did. In gradable English. He struggled to write for both himself and Teke while also completing the experiments they were supposed to be doing, so eventually, Teke started doing those for him.

Sebastian would write. Teke would experiment. They would smile at each other in welcome whenever they saw the other. They stopped eating lunch alone in toilet cubicles and started eating lunch together in one toilet cubicle. They drew little pictures for one another in the margins of their books. Sebastian taught him some English idioms and cuss words that Teke wouldn’t be taught in his actual English lessons.

That’s what friends do for each other, right?

They were friends, Sebastian was sure of it, and he liked having a friend. He hadn’t had one before. People never liked him all that much, he was too blunt and gay. Teke didn’t care, or couldn’t tell, that he was either of those things. They cared about each other.

They kept caring about each other until they moved up to High School. That’s when things started to change a little for both of them.

Teke knew English better now, but had a thick accent that people just seemed to find funny, even though Sebastian thought it was cool.

Sebastian got a better haircut and nicer clothes and started playing lacrosse. He was attractive, he found out, and enjoyed the attention that came with that revelation.

They kept talking, they found each other in class and at lunch, but the more admirers Sebastian gained, the more he realised Teke wasn’t someone they liked as much as he did. They made fun of his accent and his skin and his hair and his clothes. They called him poor and gross. Eventually, Sebastian started calling him the same things, and they laughed when he did.

He was handsome, he was liked, and now he was funny too. He liked being those things, and stopped liking being Teke’s friend as much.

As much as he tried to deny it, it was Teke that left their friendship first. He scoffed at Sebastian’s new attitude and avoided him and his gaggle of henchmen. Sebastian did nothing to stop the slow deterioration of their connection. He let it go.

Sebastian moved to France the next year when his dad got a job offer. He lost his virginity and started sleeping around. It took him no time at all to be liked and wanted by almost everyone in his school and beyond it. He relished the feeling of being desired.

He missed the feeling of being known.

Even though he didn’t deserve to be.

[mdverse]

Oooh for the salt ask: numbers 6, 10, 12, 26 and 27?

(I dunno if your supposed to ask so many of these at once sorry :'))

ask as many as u want!! there are no rules here :)

6: Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

mmm maybe not to that extent but there are def ships i used to not care about/dislike and that i've since grown to appreciate! i'd say kurtbastian is the main one (shoutout to bella) and to a lesser extent kurtofsky (shoutout to robin). for the most part i think my opinions haven't drastically changed tho

10: Most disliked arc? Why?

whatever they had going on in ikag... kinda ties into my answer for 12 but i feel like there was a way to approach the idea of finn outing santana and then both of them dealing with the ramifications of that and it could've been interesting but my god it was handled so poorly in canon. honestly it doesn't even last long enough for me to consider it an arc bc most of it gets dropped after that episode. like idk can u imagine if finn had actually faced any consequences or taken any accountability for doing that and grown from his mistakes instead of somehow turning the tables and "helping" santana get through it like it wasn't his fault in the first place... if they hadn't done the stupid lady music week where people are just singing at santana and picking songs that didn't really do anything (puck i am looking at u in particular but i also think that i'm the only one gcv is one of the better songs in the ep ngl) (like context aside i think the gcv is fine and there are worse ones in there)... if there had been literally any scenes involving brittana bc it's kinda crazy that we didn't get to see britt, santana's girlfriend, supporting santana through a major shitty event (i don't think she even has that many lines?? she barely speaks the whole time and more of her lines are about the student council election than about the shit santana is dealing with? unless i'm remembering incorrectly?) (ur telling me that we get pezberry singing i kissed a girl instead of like. idk. a britt solo or a brittana duet or even just them talking about it???).... that ep has exactly one good scene and everything else makes me want to scream into a pillow and break things. it's not real to me. there was a way to make that storyline work but the writers just went "nah lol"

12: Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

answered that one here :)

26: Most shippable character?

kurt probably! maybe this is just a by-product of being close friends with bella, a kurt multi-shipper with whom i've had many convos about almost every kurt ship, but i feel like most of his ships have sth to appreciate there

27: Least shippable character?

hmm i'd say finn bc i don't feel like any of the finn ships i've seen have ever gripped me? i think with every other glee kid there's like. a default ship that i'm at least ok with (if not super invested). but with finn i don't really have that

salty ask game

[kurtbastianarchive]

Kurtbastian Prompt by @aurumjank

Time travel AU: Kurt and Sebastian from season 3 suddenly appear in their future (their older selves are dating/living together/newlyweds/already having kids - anything, but they're happy together and their younger selves are shocked and want to know how it happened)

This prompt was submitted but not filled for the Kurtbastian Prompt Fest 2023. If you're inspired to create something based on this prompt, please tag the prompt-giver and @kurtbastianarchive when you post it!

[shame-is-a-wasted-emotion]

For the ask game, Klaine of course!

Oh this seems so interesting. Thank you anon!!

For Klaine:

When I started shipping it if I did:

Even before I watched glee for the first time. Funny story: I found Darren in an odd way. Starting from harry potter movies, Evannah Lynch, A very potter senior year, starkid prodcution, I landed on Darren's wiki and found glee. As a way to satisfy my curiosity, I searched on youtube for his first appearance and I found the teenage dream video. Voila, I started to ship them from moment. As well as started to learn about the LGBTQ+ community

My thoughts:

I love them to the core. This is the first ever ship for me and I still ship them. I know how messy they were, but I'll fight for them with anyone.

What makes me happy about them:

Their existence, duh! I love the way they met, how they sang to each other, how theys ee each other, how they dance with each other, how they are there for each other.

What makes me sad about them:

Their storyline. Let's be real. They screwed up Klaine for fans. Especially S6. Like why? Just let them have their own marvelous gay wedding and a happy life. Why do they have to screw them? Especially with hurt locker part 1. I never watched that episode.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Making Kurt or Blaine as very effeminate like a lady . Like why? Or making them a sex pervert for each other. In every damn chapter. I mean I don't complain much and I just leave those fics but it's infuriating.

Things I look for in fanfic:

Hurt/comfort. Or adventure. A nice fluff. I don't want to lie. I enjoy a little smut too.

Who I'd be comfortable them ending up with, if not for each other:

None. I do see a little kurtbastian but absolutely none.

My happily ever after for them:

Happily married. Being successful in their careers. Travelling around the world and exploring. Finding new horizons. Then having kids.

Who is the big spoon/ little spoon:

Kurt is the big spoon. Blaine is the little one. Solely based on their heights of 2 inch different. Either way is fine too.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity: Talking as they cuddle together before going to sleep. It's just intimate. Or play tackle with each other. Dance with each other in kitchen or living room.

Send your ship and I'll answer to my best

[backslashdelta]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thank you so much to @rockitmans for the tag!! I always love a good excuse to talk about my writing!

I'm going to go ahead and tag @esperantoauthor @spookyklaine and @thnxforknowingme if you haven't been tagged already :)

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

53 (44 on my main pseud and 9 on my podfic pseud)

2. What's your AO3 word count?

290,197

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Glee! A write for a variety of ships, usually involving Kurt, mostly Klaine and Kurtbastian but occasionally I dabble elsewhere.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

It Was Only A Kiss (808 kudos)

Notes of an Old Mistake (171 kudos)

I Want The World To See You'll Be With Me (170 kudos)

You're A Little Less Alone (162 kudos)

Echoes of You (137 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I don't always respond right away, but I always respond eventually. I appreciate getting comments and I want people to know that I've read them and appreciated them. And it can be fun to have a little chat about the story I'm creating sometimes, too :)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

He Forgets Me, He Forgets Me Not. It's a very sad one-shot that ends with major character death and a funeral, so, yeah.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't think I ever write happy endings? Just kidding, I probably have more happy endings than sad. Happiest is maybe Keep It Simple? Ends with a proposal and I think it's really understated and sweet and yeah.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Surprisingly not really... which is good because I'm Delicate and don't handle criticism of my creative endeavours well.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Bestie a better question is if I write anything other than smut. I have written... so much smut. Out of curiosity I checked the top tags on my explicit rated fics, and this is the list (17 fics total for reference):

Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot (10)

Anal Sex (7)

Smut (6)

Blow Jobs (6)

Anal Fingering (5)

Angst (4)

Established Relationship (4)

Gay Sex (4)

Hurt/Comfort (3)

Teasing (3)

I think that's a pretty good reflection. There's also often something that's just like, a little bit more risque, but usually nothing too out there. Not that I'm opposed to writing something very out there. I did post non-con tentacle porn once, so.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?

I don't but it's really only because I've never written for a fandom other than Glee. I have a few ideas swirling in my head for Glee AUs based in another universe, but I'm not sure if that would count even if I did get around to writing them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge. I've considered trying to translate my own fics into French for the practice, but then I remembered I'm not even remotely good enough at French to do that.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

A couple times yes! Did You Hear That? and Kurtbastian 2020 Advent Calendar

14. Favourite all time ship?

Kurtbastian <3 there's just something about them you know? Maybe you don't. But that's okay, because I do, and that's what matters.

15. WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

The Hazards of Love series... I had a whole thing planned out when I first started it, and I breezed through the first two parts, but then I got distracted with other things and it just feels way too hard to come back to now and I feel like I've changed a lot as a writer, too... and it's kind of niche and not something most people would want to read anyway, so I don't even have that as a motivator.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at dramatic scenarios/describing the feelings of a character who is Going Through It. I love a good internal monologue that involves freaking out about something or discovering something about themselves or denying something about themselves or whatever else. I also really love writing big blow-out arguments, and I think I'm pretty good at those, too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Actually writing anything lol. But also I kind of struggle with writing group settings or anything where stuff is actually happening? I get so caught up in writing dialogue and internal thoughts that I don't really know what to do when there are actually Things Occurring.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I wouldn't do it beyond a word or two because I just don't know any other languages well enough to do that. I'm not opposed to it in theory if someone knows multiple languages or has help from someone who does, but ideally they'd also provide a translation so I don't need to take it to Google translate myself (and potentially lose some of the meaning)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Glee and I'm still here babeyyyyyy

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Gotta be my baby, It Was Only A Kiss. She is my most successful fic by an absolutely absurd margin, but honestly I think she deserves it. I poured a lot of effort into that story and it wasn't always fun but it paid off really well. It's definitely the work that I'm most proud of, and I think has some of my best writing.

[daltonblaine]

a fellow sebastian hater! i recently came across some kurtbastian shippers on twitter and was astounded at how the hell they would think sebastian would be a better boyfriend than blaine…like yes the guy who is racist, classist, effeminophobic, doesn’t respect boundaries, and literally attempted to assault kurt would be better for him than blaine 🤨 like not to be controversial but i think someone who tried to assault you because he liked your boyfriend might not be a great person to be in a relationship with…

YEAH... i guess i don't Hate hate sebastian (he's a funny plot device to me) but Even With all the offensive stuff aside sebastian shippers make me a little ?? because half of the time it's normal shipping stuff with their Preferred Guy (whether it's kurt or blaine) whatever floats your boat etc etc but the other half of their content seems like absolute vitriolic hatred towards the Third Person in the sebastian/blaine/kurt circle to the point IT'S A LITTLE HARD TO TAKE SERIOUSLY 😭 they're like sebastian would treat kurt with respect and always listen to him ❤️ UNLIKE BLAINE WHO HATES KURT ❌❌ makes me wonder if we watched the same show idk

also shipping sebastian with someone (at least my main impression of it) is almost always mutually inclusive with being a huge anti of either kurt or blaine and it just rubs me the wrong way especially for blaine my heart can't take it i fall over and die every time

[daisyishedwig]

I was tagged by @kurtsascot this week, and I couldn't help but share a little bit from when you hold me, it holds me together.

I've been really enjoying writing Kurt and Sebastian's interactions. As much as this is a Seblaine fic, I really like the friendship that develops between Kurtbastian and I'm excited to share.

“You gonna rat on me?” He asked casually.  “For smoking?” Sebastian shrugged. “You know, you’re the goody-two-shoes kid who goes to the prep school. And I’m the asshole invading your house who smokes and sucks your ex’s dick.” Kurt sighed and raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, yeah,” Sebastian said, lifting his foot to stamp the roach out on the sole of his shoe, “you don’t want to hear about mine and Blaine’s sex life, I remember.” He winced as he righted himself, pressing a hand against his ribs. “They still hurt?” Kurt asked. “What, my three plus broken ribs?” Sebastian said with a wry grin.

And I'll tag @imogenlefay, @lusthurts, @calsvoid, and @bitbybitwrites